Nick
Half man... half monkey... totally tasty
*Nick is 5'8", weighing in at 140 lbs.
*Nick was born in St. Louis, grew up in Dallas and angst-ridden in Ft. Wayne.
*Nick's family name is Jared McBride. Could also be known as Baby McBride.
*Nick joined the McBride Brothers officially May 1, 2001.
*Nick is currently attending Canterbury School.
*Nick is the latest addition to the McBride Brothers. He is also the youngest, a lowly, lowly freshman, who hopes to someday leave his damnation in "froshitude" (READER'S NOTE: Nick officially left his "froshnacity" behind a long time ago... unofficially the other Brothers don't give a shit... they still call him "FRESHMAN!").
*Nick is so amazingly, incredibly, magnificently talented at sketch comedy performance and writing that he could practically work with anyone. He does have his problems though; what with Kyle and his drinking problem, Nathan and his obvious bulimia, Jon with his violent homosexual tendencies and Grant with his constant distance from the group (necrophilia is a serious problem and should be confronted immediately). But Nick says he copes, even though each day is a struggle, through a steady diet of nail clippings and rancid cabbage (READER'S NOTE: Nick still lives off that diet except now he opts for the low-fat rancid cabbage to watch his cholesterol).
*Nick's favorite color is rainbow because he's too indecisive to choose just one.
*Nick will listen to anything so long as it isn't shit. Some of these shit-less bands include Green Day, Nirvana, Sublime, Toadies, Korn, Bowling for Soup, NOFX, Offspring, Beck, Sex Pistols, and many more alterna-tunes.
*Doctor's orders have strictly forbidden Nick to be addicted to anything of any kind.
*Nick will eat anything that isn't good for him or will provide him will that sparkling sensation.
*Nick's influences are many, considering most of his day involves a couch, a remote and a 55" television. The Simpsons is a major factor in his life (episodes circa 1991-1998), along with other shows such as Monty Python, Saturday Night Live, South Park, Sesame Street, Pee-Wee's Playhouse, Ren and Stimpy, Invader Zim, Spongebob, and the Red Green Show.
*Friends and family have told Nick that he is good at impressions. His most famous is his notorious Russian accent, made famous in his performance of "The Defenseless Creature" However his accent log has recorded British, Scottish, German, Swedish, Australian, French, Italian, Canadian, Pakistani, Bostonian, New York, Gallic and Texan to come out of his mouth from time to time.
*Nick says the McBride Brothers is different from all other comedy troupes because he's in it and not in others. That and the skits are actually funny.
*Nick's humor is a unique one, for it combines sadistic humor with a message. For example: a child sticking his finger in a light socket teaches you to never have kids.
*No one has ever really mentioned that Nick resembled anyone famous until recently, when after the DeMuzio performance a new fan thought he looked like 'The Dawson' (i.e. James Vanderbeek on Dawson's Creek).
*Nick doesn't get out much. After 6:30 his parents lock him in the basement. But when he wriggles out of the shackles he likes to go to movies, play drums, watch TV, try to play hockey, and go on the computer.
*Six words that describe Nick are as follows: yam, anteater, oak, ardent, frantic, and Alaska.
