PARAKEET
transcribed: Sept. 2, 2002 by hecubus303@yahoo.com
*****(four guys are sitting around a table at someones house playing cards)*****
GREG: Hey, did I tell you guys Chong died?
DAN: No you didnt. Thats too bad.
GREG: I just came home and he was dead.
DOUG: How come no
one is ever there when their pets die?
JEFF: I was there
when Pete died.
DOUG: Your
parakeet? Wow... I didnt even know he was dead.
JEFF: Well, hes
only been dead a few months.
GREG: Well what
were you doing when he died?
DAN: Were you in a
different room and he called you in there?
DOUG: Did you just
sense that something was happening?
JEFF: Well, I was
holding him underwater.
DAN: Ah, thats
always the way they go eh?
GREG: WAIT WAIT
WAIT!!! You were holding him underwater?
JEFF: Yeah.
DOUG: Why?!?
JEFF: Because I was
drowning him.
GREG: Why did you
want to drown him?
JEFF: Well, he was
retarded. He had eaten away all the plumage and skin around his
neck so that all that was there was the spinal cord. I figured it
was in more pain.
DAN: So you drowned
it? How do you drown a parakeet?
JEFF: I grabbed it
and held it in the toilet.
DAN: Did he put up
a fight?
JEFF: No, it only
took about 3 seconds...they have tiny lungs.
GREG: Well, if all
that was there was the spinal cord, youd think youd
just snap his neck. Wouldnt you?
JEFF: Well thats
how I killed my other parakeet George
DOUG: You have some
issues dont you?
JEFF: I think so...
you should hear what I did to my cats.
McBRIDE BROTHERS © 2002 Meeker and Co. Productions