transcribed: Sept. 2, 2002 by firstname.lastname@example.org
*****(four guys are sitting around a table at someones house playing cards)*****
GREG: Hey, did I tell you guys Chong died?
DAN: No you didnt. Thats too bad.
GREG: I just came home and he was dead.
DOUG: How come no one is ever there when their pets die?
JEFF: I was there when Pete died.
DOUG: Your parakeet? Wow... I didnt even know he was dead.
JEFF: Well, hes only been dead a few months.
GREG: Well what were you doing when he died?
DAN: Were you in a different room and he called you in there?
DOUG: Did you just sense that something was happening?
JEFF: Well, I was holding him underwater.
DAN: Ah, thats always the way they go eh?
GREG: WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! You were holding him underwater?
JEFF: Because I was drowning him.
GREG: Why did you want to drown him?
JEFF: Well, he was retarded. He had eaten away all the plumage and skin around his neck so that all that was there was the spinal cord. I figured it was in more pain.
DAN: So you drowned it? How do you drown a parakeet?
JEFF: I grabbed it and held it in the toilet.
DAN: Did he put up a fight?
JEFF: No, it only took about 3 seconds...they have tiny lungs.
GREG: Well, if all that was there was the spinal cord, youd think youd just snap his neck. Wouldnt you?
JEFF: Well thats how I killed my other parakeet George
DOUG: You have some issues dont you?
JEFF: I think so... you should hear what I did to my cats.
McBRIDE BROTHERS © 2002 Meeker and Co. Productions