THE LOVE SONNET
transcribed: Nov. 29, 2000 by firstname.lastname@example.org
*****(balcony with woman looking out window, man hides behind shrub, throws rock)***
MAN: Oh Sarah, dear, sweet Sarah, my love for thee is entirely too much for dealing with alone. It wakes me in a cold sweat and a fast shake; like drowning in my sleep. And crazy, crazy I am. And if insanity is a thing that exists anywhere outside the mind's eye... I am it in its quintessant form. Yes, for thou hast the face of an angel and the fist (rubs face) of the devil. Thine eyes shoot through me, like the antlers of an exotic gazelle. Your mouth like an open, pussing wound draws the attension of all with the exquisitness. Your flesh, smooth as an armadillo's back and soft as an elephant's knee, is soothing to the touch. Your appendix, like a squealing zuccini. belts out a sound of pain and suffering only I could comfort. Your mole, like a gypsy, dances about your face to the beat of a heavenly drum. Your toes, like gay football players... never clipped but ever so tidy and prim, moan like wild buffalo for excitement and adventure. So my dear specimine of bacteria, and I mean that in the nicest way possible, willst thou succumb to the request of mine?
SARAH: Go away you freak!
MAN: So does that mean yes?
MAN: How about now?
SARAH: NO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
MAN: Okay.... now?
SARAH: I DON'T WANNA BUY A VACUUM CLEANER!!!
McBRIDE BROTHERS © 2000 Meeker and Co. Productions